Engagement is a significant event in a person’s life that one should not take lightly. It is the commitment of two souls to marry and spend the rest of their lives together. As it is a lifelong commitment, one must only decide on it when fully ready. Marriage is not a bed of roses and comes with its ups and downs; you have to embrace the challenges and work together to make the relationship grow.
That’s why, before you exchange rings in an engagement, there are some important things that you need to consider for your mental, physical, and financial readiness. Such as;
Emotional connection
Before you decide to get engaged with your partner, it’s essential that you understand the readiness of the emotional connection that the two of you share. Assess the maturity of the other person, emotional stability, and ability to handle challenges with a calm mind and a positive mindset – all of these are essential for a healthy relationship. Make sure that there are no toxicities involved that can cause difficulties for you later by considering your partner’s willingness to take the relationship a step further.
In addition, couples should be mutually mature and strong enough to handle the fears, challenges and compromises that marriage brings. You must address your and your partner’s fear regarding marriage, commitment, intimacy and boundaries before you start this journey. It would save you from a lot of hassles later.
Effective communication
It is significantly important to have effective communication with your partner where you both understand each other on a deeper level. It includes the;
- Behaviour of the person.
- Likes and dislikes.
- Boundaries not likely to be crossed.
- Habits of the other person.
- Goals and aspirations.
- Fears.
- Personal value.
All of these things help build a foundation for an ever-growing and ever-loving relationship after engagement. Otherwise, engagement would be a disaster.
Financial preparation
Financial stability is one of the defining traits of a healthy relationship. When you are taking a step forward for engagement, ensure that your finances are efficiently managed. It includes your income, tax, debt, savings, etc. It is also a plus point if you can define the financial responsibility in a relationship.
Couples should have a financial plan put in place for shared expenses like buying a home, sending kids to college, saving for retirement, or even starting a family. Streamlined expenses help take away a major part of stress from your daily life, leading to a better relationship.
Furthermore, you must know of your and your partner’s spending habits and come up with a plan that benefits both; neither spending too much nor too less.
Resolving conflicts
If you and your partner have any relationship conflicts, it’s better that you resolve them first before engagement. It can be;
- Compromised trust.
- Unresolved trauma.
- Insufficient communication.
- Ongoing conflicts.
If necessary, consider relationship counselling and couple therapy. So that you can begin this journey of your life with a strengthened bond and no hard feelings for each other.
In fact, if you are unsure about engagement itself, relationship counselling can help you make a better decision on whether to get engaged or not in the first place.
Goals and values
Career ambitions, personal aspirations, travel plans, family expectations, and other growth objectives must have mutual compatibility in order for your engagement to work and ensure alignment in life paths. That’s why you must define the shared goals and values you have to ensure your like-mindedness in the relationship.
Discuss your hobbies, common interests, and leisure activities that you can do together without getting bored and have a great time together.
There are also some things that you should have zero compromise on when proceeding with an engagement such as religion, ethics and personal boundaries. It is essential for building mutual understanding and respect in the relationship for each other’s perspectives.
Family dynamics
If two of you are from different ethnicities, cultures and backgrounds then evaluating the family dynamics is a must for a healthy relationship and engagement. It includes;
- Discussing about your future plans with your family.
- Learning about each other’s cultures, values and traditions.
- Adjusting yourself to better fit in the other person’s family.
It will help you prioritize your relationship’s health by having no compromise on mutual respect and understanding.
In addition, if your family has any concerns about your partner, you must address them as well. Otherwise, familial conflicts would have a negative impact on your relationship as well, leading to broken marriages. Make sure that there is mutual respect and love between your family and partner.
Timing and practicality
- When you are getting engaged, you have to think practically about your life. For instance; career stability, housing arrangements, and lifestyle adjustments that you both will have to make in order to make the relationship work. That’s why couples should be practical when getting engaged rather than just relying on their feelings and hormones.
- You must also develop a timetable that guarantees personal time for yourself as well as a sufficient period of time to spend together on a daily basis despite your work, family, or other commitments. Spending time together is essential for nourishing your relationship and evolving together.
- If you want to study father, start a family, get married, buy a house or move to another region – discuss and set a time for it that works best for both of you.
- Lastly, you should also plan for your wedding at the same time. Such as;
- Setting a budget for the wedding.
- Discussing preferences.
- The size of your wedding, etc.
Making the decision
Before engagement, couples should individually reflect on their relationship to clarify their thoughts, expectations and emotions about the idea of engagement and then make the decision. You can get help from relationship counsellors and even your married friends and family members to get to know their experiences.
On the other hand, couples should also have a clear and concise conversation with each other to discuss their fears, expectations, and aspirations for the future before getting engaged.
So, these are some of the things that you should not overlook before engagement.
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